What We Do.

I've had a few requests for "More blog posts! More blog posts!". There's a reason why we haven't written, and this is it...

Every day, when we're not teaching stuff, we do this:



And this:
And this:

And sometimes this:




Okay, well, maybe we do other things, too. Like this:


And occasionally, we watch this:


And finally, we eat this:


Of course, we do other things, too. But I'm saving those for the next blog post.

The Time Difference

If there’s one cultural lesson I’ve learned so far in Honduras, it is this:

“Be there at 9:00 AM”

REALLY means

“Definitely don’t get there BEFORE 9:00 AM. Feel free to show up anytime after 9:00, really. You could even show up at 10:00 AM, and if you do, definitely don’t mention anything about being an hour late- pretend as if the moment you show up is the exact moment you were expected to arrive. In addition, if you choose not to show up at all, don’t feel the need to call beforehand. If anything, you can call at 9:30 or 9:45, just to verify that you won’t, in fact, be showing up at 10:00 or later.”

Although, in theory, I knew about this cultural norm regarding time before we moved here, I still had a bit of difficulty adjusting. The first time I waited for someone for more than a half hour, I figured there must have been some kind of emergency. Ten minutes later, when the student walked into the room as if nothing had happened, I knew I had had my first “time difference” experience. Little did I know, this would be the first of many.

Now, from what I have witnessed, it is still remotely unacceptable to be late for an official job. For example, Andrew would not be able to keep his teaching job if he showed up an hour late every day. (My observations may be skewed here, because he works for a bilingual school with many US staff). In addition, the folks I have met who work for the university are always standing in the coffee shop line at the very punctual time of 7:40 AM (work begins at 8:00 AM). So, from what I’ve gathered, this “time difference” occurs only for events that don’t involve getting paid. Strangely, the “time difference” phenomenon DOES occur with events for which the late person is paying. For example, students who pay me for English classes often show up about 30 minutes late, even though they are paying for two full hours. (On the flip side, the students who receive free English class through a grant definitely show up late more often than those who pay.)

At first, I took offense to the fact that even the paying students were showing up late to my classes. Am I a TERRIBLE teacher? Are they SCARED of me? Am I incredibly BORING? But through all the kind words, homemade baked goods, greeting cards, and fast English language skill development, I’ve come to realize that it really ISN’T me- it’s just how things work.

Although I am still learning the exact cultural rules for this “time difference” (note to self: remember not to arrive on time for a conversation exchange), I have made some changes in my daily habits that allow me to fully take advantage of this phenomenon. I never arrive to teach a class or meet someone without a good hour’s worth of entertainment- papers to correct, books to read, novels to write, etc. In this way, I have actually learned to enjoy this special time given to me by the cultural “time difference”. For the sake of me ever returning to the US, let’s just hope that I don’t take it too far and start arriving an hour late. Or for that matter, not at all.

On Living a Slow Life

Pros and Cons of Living in Rural Honduras

Pros:

1. There's really no way to convince yourself NOT to be active. If you have free time, which you do when you live in rural Honduras, there are generally 6 activities that are available.

a. Running/walking around (by yourself or with your new street dog)

b. Playing tennis

c. Looking at the internet (although in "real" rural Honduras you wouldn't be able to do this)

d. Reading

e. Drinking (possibly at the nearby restaurant, Chicken Drive)

f. Playing the guitar

Now, looking at the odds, there's a 33% chance that, at any given moment in your free time, you will either be running/walking or playing tennis. And that is why Andrew and I are becoming such beautiful specimens (see reason #1 in CONS list for why this may or may not be true).

2. Things are pur-ty. See photo.

3. There's lots of time to think. You can think about anything, really:

-what's happening in the news

-what's happening on American Idol

-who's going to win American Idol, and whether or not you're going to win the bet you made with your hubby

-how your dog might be a genius for learning how to sit

-whether or not you should let your dog come on the bed

-what's your favorite number out of 18 or 81

-what's your favorite color combination

-why we call football "football" instead of calling soccer "football"

-how it is so great that you have time to think

-which kind of cheese you will get the next time you go to the supermarket

Which leads me to.......

CONS

1. When you live on the campus of an agriculture university, you can be sure that you won't be missing dairy products. Our current favorite is Queso Crema with jalapenos. The yogurt and ice cream is delicious. And the chocolate milk isn't bad either. Although #1 could easily find its way into the "Pros" list, it's down here with the "Cons" because, despite all these scrumptious dairy products, we both may have some sort of slight intolerance for dairy.

2. There's lots of time to think. You can think about anything, like:

-how you will ever get rid or your dog's bugs

-all the bad things happening in the news

-poverty

-war

-death

-starvation

-greedy rich people

-evil giant fleas taking over the world

-evil dictators

-how to determine which people around you are communists

Okay, well, maybe I don't really think about that last one.

I'd write more, but I have to scurry back to my hurried rural Honduran life.

Commitments

As if getting married wasn't enough, Andrew and I have decided to make some other pretty big commitments in our lives.

1. We have committed to staying here in Zamorano, Honduras, for the next two years. During these two years, we are going to participate in an international Masters in Education program through the University of Alabama. The program is outrageously cheap (apparently the University of Alabama is taking on the social mission of furthering the education of teachers teaching abroad in bilingual schools), and we'll both go back to the States after two years with a Masters degree and no loans. Sounds pretty good, right? Well, yes it does, but there is a downside. The program won't get me a teaching license, which becomes problematic in terms of getting an actual teaching job if we move back to Minnesota. Apparently the people in Minnesota actually want their kids' teachers to have a teaching license. BUT, if we went back to New Orleans, I'd have more success with the job search (of course, we all know that the people in New Orleans don't really care who teaches their kids, as long as they learn how to play jazz trumpet and can design the best Mardi Gras costumes...). On the flip side, Andrew will have his Masters along with the teaching license he already has, so he will be well on his way to becoming the Secretary of Education.

(Okay, my secret's out- I'm terrible with photo editing...)

2. We are getting a dog. Yes, we've decided to take the plunge. We always said we'd have a dog before we ever made the crazy decision to actually raise kids one day, so here goes. We've already chosen our pup- she's a medium-sized stray with an absolutely lovable and calm personality. Right now she "lives" somewhere around the gasolinera and the nearby chicken restaurant (also known as "Chicken Drive"), where we see her every week scrounging for food and affection. This weekend we went to the gas station to investigate- I asked some folks if they thought anyone would be sad if we took the dog as our own. The response was quite entertaining- both women we asked started laughing hysterically when we mentioned that we wanted to have the dog as our pet. My summary of the responses would be: "Of COURSE nobody will care if you take that dog off the street, but we thing you're CRAZY for wanting it".

This weekend Andrew went into Tegucigalpa to get some dog supplies while I was teaching a Saturday computer class, so we're all set up with food, bowls, leashes, collars, and plenty of flea treatment. The plan is to bring the dog home from Chicken Drive this Friday, so we'll have the whole weekend to get it settled in (including house training- don't worry, we have plenty of cleaning solution...). We also have a local vet where we can get our new little lady checked out. For your entertainment, here she is:

Now, all we need is a name. We want the name to have a least a little bit of a Spanish twist- when we are out of town we will be leaving her with Spanish speakers, so we'll be training her in Spanish. Any ideas?! Please post them!

And that, my friends, pretty much covers our two biggest commitments. At this rate, we'll probably have a house in the suburbs with a picket fence and 2.5 kids before the year is over.

The Bottom Ten Of 2010

Well, Laura has inspired/challenged me to come up with a list for myself. Since my Top 10 Moments would probably be super similar to hers, I'm going to attempt to take a look at the least memorable moments (or, more accurately, things I wish I could forget) of The Year That Was.


It should be noted that my memory is the pits, so I probably already forgot 90% of the things I wish I could forget. My apologies.




#10: Being Stuck In El Estor, Guatemala: 
Last November, with vacation time preciously ticking away, Laura and I spent four days wandering around this sleepy, tiny town, hoping and praying that we would at least finish our double scoop cones by the time we circled back to the ice cream shop for another round. (In retrospect, this was actually awesome.)

#9: Cold, Cold, Cold: 
In December, we went to Wisconsin and Minnesota. These two states are really cold- I'm not sure anybody told you. At least our families and friends are awesome, because if they ever aren't, I'm staying the heck away.


#8: Lost In Translation: 
In July, I was stuck in a teensy-weensy Japanese restaurant (either that, or a Murakami Haruki novel) with little Japanese language, lots of eager onlookers, and a plateload of some kind of raw fish. Needless to say, I think I set U.S.-Japan relations back about 50 years.


#7: Insides on the Outside: 
Upon first arriving in Guatemala in September, Laura and I were quite overcome with the sights of magnificent Lake Atitlan, the beautiful streets and farms, and everyone's lovely traditional dress. However, we mostly just got to look at the interior of our bathroom about every 20 minutes.

#6: Our Complete Loss of Freedom, Liberty, God, and All That Is Good: 
Of course, I'm talking about how just any old urchin can go to the doctor now. 


#5: That One Time When We Were Totally Supposed To Play Settlers Of Catan But Didn't: 
Yeah, that was a total bummer, man.


#4: The Oil Spill: 
Yeah, this one made it, and I'm not even a shrimper. Being relatively close to the spill (we had been re-planting wetlands down to the Gulf the week prior to the spill...Whoops!) it was amazing and super sad to see just how much it affected a state that has its share of bad luck. (ATTENTION: It should be noted that this tragic event ironically led to my #1 Best Moment of the 21st Century: Being In Spike Lee's 2nd New Orleans Documentary If God Is Willing And Da Creek Don't Rise Starring Andrew Witkins as "Sign Holder #8")

#3: It's Gross, It's Everywhere, It's Nescafe™: 
The biggest injustice I can think of in life is a bunch of Guatemalans, living amongst delicious, fresh coffee plants, who still somehow manage to drink (nay, prefer) freeze-dried brown instant coffee crystals. Yes, I know it is cheaper and easier, but I would quickly sell a horse or two if it meant I could drink the real stuff.


#2: Taunting Fate:
 Laura and I both realize that nothing bad really happens to us (this list is proof), which undoubtedly means that we are both due for a tragedy. Probably a really bloody one.

#1: Knowing What It Means To Miss New Orleans: 
Yeah, this one still stings. We have some fantastic friends, co-workers, students, trivia teams, frisbee teams, and neighborhood bars taunting us from NOLA, and every day we wonder if we were crazy to leave. Such is life, I suppose. 


Well folks, it was quite a year, eh? I've already got some promising events for next year's list. See you then!

Top Ten of 2010

In my spare time, I've decided to come up with a list of the top ten events of 2010 (thanks for the inspiration, Kevin!). By "Top Ten", I mean the most memorable, not necessarily just the most enjoyable. These may or may not be some of Andrew's top events of the year.

10. Tie between:

a) Surprise Birthday Party at Juan's Flying Burrito: Andrew tells me he made reservations for my birthday, so he takes me by the hand and leads me across the street to Juan's. "Juan's? You made reservations at Juan's? Do they even take reservations?" I was perplexed until we got to the back patio where lots of lovely friends were waiting to eat delicious burritos and scrumptious homemade cake, followed by shenanigans at the Half Moon Bar.

b) Designing an Mouse-Friendly Mouse Trap: When I first saw the mouse out of the corner of my eye, I thought it was a cockroach. A day later, I walked in on the mouse sitting on the stove, eating crumbs off of a pan that I had just baked cookies on. Ew! Being that Andrew is much more kind to his fellow living creatures than I can sometimes be, he convinced me that we could catch the mouse somehow (without a mouse trap), and set it free. So we made a trap that consisted of rigging up a "cereal box ramp" on the stove that would go tumbling into the garbage can below if triggered by the little creature crawling on top of it. We got all three mice this way- one of them we caught in the presence of friends and made a group adventure of setting it free.

9. The "Christmas Surprise". It was incredibly fun and entertaining to see the look on our family members' faces when we showed up in Wisconsin and Minnesota for the holidays, unannounced. We spent three weeks hanging with family, giving big hugs and kisses to nieces and nephews, and basically soaking up all the love we could before moving to Honduras for who knows how long.

8. Moving away from New Orleans. Number 8 definitely falls under the category of "Events that affected us a lot, and not necessarily for the better". We miss New Orleans- our friends, the music, the vibe, our neighborhood. I cried when we locked our apartment door behind us. I teared up as we drove away. But we're young, and we wanted to learn a bit of another language and see the world. We can always move back, right?

7. Pub Quiz. For the first half of 2010, we had the lovely opportunity of spending every Monday night in New Orleans drinking beers with our witty and intelligent friends while trying to prove how smart we are (miss you guys so much!). When we left NOLA, there was a gaping hole in our hearts. Luckily, we found a "gringo" pub quiz night in San Pedro, Guatemala, where we kicked some pub quiz butt (although we never claimed first place). And all of that happened before we became champions at the Thursday night pub quiz in Beloit, Wisconsin, due to Andrew's crazy quick math skills.

6. Traveling around Guatemala and Belize with K-Dogg. After being in Guatemala for a couple of months without seeing any familiar faces (except the ones we made familiar while we were there- that's you, Jason!), it was incredibly thrilling to see a confused looking K-Dogg wandering down the street in Rio Dulce, Guatemala. We spent the week snorkeling and gazing into turquoise Caribbean waters, canoeing and hiking through the jungle and Mayan ruins, playing drums with some Garifuna folk, and taking in a lot of pina coladas.

5. Saints' Superbowl win. After we convinced Deb and Colin that it would, indeed, be fun to actually go to a bar and watch the game, it turned out to be even more fun than we had expected. After the Saints won, we secondlined (is that a verb?) through the city, and the energy was outrageous. I'm sure it was unlike anything I'll experience again.

4. Spending a week in Japan with the Witkins family for Nate and Mitsuyo's wedding. Not only was it our honeymoon, but we got to share one hostel room between the five of us for the majority of the trip! (Love you, Witkins family!). Seriously, though, Japan was incredible, especially the part where we watched the sun rise over the clouds from the top of Mt. Fuji. The family karaoke night wasn't bad either.

3. Canoeing the Boundary Waters. After a long, emotional move away from New Orleans, this was the perfect way to relax and feel like I'm getting totally ripped at the same time. Not to mention we got to make jokes with some of our very favorite people for a week, drink beer out of cans, and make hot drinks under a tarp in a hail storm. I vote for this one to be a yearly tradition.

2. Spending a month in the most beautiful spot in the world, Lake Atitlan. With the traditional Mayan dress, the comfort in knowing that toads will never become extinct, $1 cuba libres, and having two awesome local Spanish teachers to interact with all day, this was a perfect way to start off our time abroad.

1. Getting married. Hey, I know it's the obvious one, but come on, it was a freakin' good party. The old dancing with the young. Delicious grub, frisbee playing, kid throwing, gun shooting, African dancing, music making, watching little nieces and nephews reach up to put their cup on top of the bar for more sprite. Also, it lasted for like 4 days. Not to mention that it's a pretty good feeling when most of the people you love are in one room.

Real Life

Now that Andrew and I are getting settled into our new home, you'll be hearing a lot more from me, because Andrew is heading full force into his job, and I'm just starting to put together my schedule of "useful things to do with myself". And, to be honest, the blog might not be that exciting anymore. After months of gallivanting around Guatemala, Belize, and Mexico, paying little attention to where our money was going and doing every interesting cultural and adventurous activity that came our way, we are now going to have "real lives" again. By "real lives" I mean:

1. We get to/have to go to work.

2. We get to/have to stay in one place and make a community here.

3. We get to/have to go grocery shopping and cook delicious meals on our very own stove!

4. We get to/have to use an alarm clock to wake ourselves up.

5. We get to/have to clean our apartment.

6. We get to/have to save money for things like: paying off our loans, buying a plane ticket to the US or Africa, maybe going to grad school (either here or in the US), and someday building a submarine to return to the Gulf of Mexico and find the "shark" that scared the beegeebies out of Andrew last year.

As we have been moving into our new "real lives", I've begun to realize how cleansed I feel to be in a new space with minimal "stuff". Our apartment came furnished with a bed, a dresser, a kitchen table with chairs, a couch, a fridge, and a stove (along with a pot, a pan, and dishes). Andrew and I both have about 7 shirts, 3 pairs of pants, and 3 pairs of shoes (sandals, dress shoes, and tennis shoes). I've always known that I generally just feel more relaxed when I have less clutter, but being forced to fit everything I want for the next six months to two years in one backpack has been a great reminder of that fact. Now I just need to figure out what to do with all of my relaxed but excited energy...

This afternoon I sent out a notice to the university staff and students, saying that I am interested in doing a Spanish-English conversation exchange. I got about 9 eager responses within 30 minutes. Any suggestions on how to pick out the BEST of them?

And, last of all in this scattered post, I've really been missing witty people. So, for all you witty (or semi-witty) people out there, please feel free to email/comment something witty that your witty self comes up with.

(It turns out that "witty" sounds totally weird when you say it more than about five times in a row. Try it.)