The Bottom Ten Of 2010

Well, Laura has inspired/challenged me to come up with a list for myself. Since my Top 10 Moments would probably be super similar to hers, I'm going to attempt to take a look at the least memorable moments (or, more accurately, things I wish I could forget) of The Year That Was.


It should be noted that my memory is the pits, so I probably already forgot 90% of the things I wish I could forget. My apologies.




#10: Being Stuck In El Estor, Guatemala: 
Last November, with vacation time preciously ticking away, Laura and I spent four days wandering around this sleepy, tiny town, hoping and praying that we would at least finish our double scoop cones by the time we circled back to the ice cream shop for another round. (In retrospect, this was actually awesome.)

#9: Cold, Cold, Cold: 
In December, we went to Wisconsin and Minnesota. These two states are really cold- I'm not sure anybody told you. At least our families and friends are awesome, because if they ever aren't, I'm staying the heck away.


#8: Lost In Translation: 
In July, I was stuck in a teensy-weensy Japanese restaurant (either that, or a Murakami Haruki novel) with little Japanese language, lots of eager onlookers, and a plateload of some kind of raw fish. Needless to say, I think I set U.S.-Japan relations back about 50 years.


#7: Insides on the Outside: 
Upon first arriving in Guatemala in September, Laura and I were quite overcome with the sights of magnificent Lake Atitlan, the beautiful streets and farms, and everyone's lovely traditional dress. However, we mostly just got to look at the interior of our bathroom about every 20 minutes.

#6: Our Complete Loss of Freedom, Liberty, God, and All That Is Good: 
Of course, I'm talking about how just any old urchin can go to the doctor now. 


#5: That One Time When We Were Totally Supposed To Play Settlers Of Catan But Didn't: 
Yeah, that was a total bummer, man.


#4: The Oil Spill: 
Yeah, this one made it, and I'm not even a shrimper. Being relatively close to the spill (we had been re-planting wetlands down to the Gulf the week prior to the spill...Whoops!) it was amazing and super sad to see just how much it affected a state that has its share of bad luck. (ATTENTION: It should be noted that this tragic event ironically led to my #1 Best Moment of the 21st Century: Being In Spike Lee's 2nd New Orleans Documentary If God Is Willing And Da Creek Don't Rise Starring Andrew Witkins as "Sign Holder #8")

#3: It's Gross, It's Everywhere, It's Nescafe™: 
The biggest injustice I can think of in life is a bunch of Guatemalans, living amongst delicious, fresh coffee plants, who still somehow manage to drink (nay, prefer) freeze-dried brown instant coffee crystals. Yes, I know it is cheaper and easier, but I would quickly sell a horse or two if it meant I could drink the real stuff.


#2: Taunting Fate:
 Laura and I both realize that nothing bad really happens to us (this list is proof), which undoubtedly means that we are both due for a tragedy. Probably a really bloody one.

#1: Knowing What It Means To Miss New Orleans: 
Yeah, this one still stings. We have some fantastic friends, co-workers, students, trivia teams, frisbee teams, and neighborhood bars taunting us from NOLA, and every day we wonder if we were crazy to leave. Such is life, I suppose. 


Well folks, it was quite a year, eh? I've already got some promising events for next year's list. See you then!