On Religion: A Battle Royale

Today I shall talk about something that I find really interesting: religion in Guatemala. At the current time, there seems to be a not-so-silent battle being waged between the main religions, Catholicism and Evangelicalisism (how do you say it?) It`s clear that everyone has got some strong opinions about the impending Battle of the Religions, even if it`s rude to have opinions in Guatemala.

I`ll take your religion as long as I can have my candles.

The major players are the Catholics versus the Evangelicals. I`ll start with the Catholics. Yes, they got a bad rap when they first arrived (which is what tends to happen when you kill a bunch of people in the name of the Lord.). However, within a few hundred years, it seems that the Catholics have learned to be a little more lenient towards the Guatemalans. Catholic churches are built with some Mayan symbolism, their services are often done in the local Mayan languages, and some ``Catholic Saints`` are really just Mayan Deities with more European-looking noses. Perhaps most importantly, the Catholic church in the 1960`s and 70`s was at the heart of the resistance against the government. It turns out that some priests felt that ``What Would Jesus Do?`` meant Jesus would fight back and kick ass when an evil government was killing innocent people. Not  a bad idea, eh? (It should be noted that this concept, called ``Liberation Theology`` was pretty much scorned by the Catholic Church in Europe) Needless to say, many Mayans grew fond of Catholicism during this time.



An Evangelical Church.

 Along come the Evangelicals. As everyone knows, Evangelical means ``using bad pop music and scare tactics to convert teenagers to your cult.`` And it is catching on like wildfire here in Guatemala. Hundreds of Guatemalans are converting every day, probably because the matriarchs of the family are totally into the Evangelical Church`s message of ``no alcohol and no cheating on your wife. This means you, Juan.`` Aside from their love of sobriety and monogamy, the Evangelicals also want to rid the Mayans here of any trace of Mayan-ness. No more candles or Mayan symbolism or names with lots of apostrophes. In fact, you could walk into an Evangelical church here and think you were in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, except without any white people (except for the five missionaries, fresh off a plane from Oshkosh, Wisconsin).

Right now, supposedly Guatemala is about 40% Catholic, 40% Evangelical, and the rest a mix of Mormonism, Strictly Mayan, and some others. We`ll see how it pans out. It has been really interesting to hear the few times when Guatemalans have been candid with me about this topic. The Catholics think the Evangelicals are destoying Mayan culture in the name of less fun. The Evangelicals think the Catholics are drunks who are going to miss out on the Rapture. 

FIGHT!