More Belize

Upon uploading the photos on my camera, I realized I had way more Belize stuff to talk about (Laura sometimes hassles me about how many photos I take, but I think this is a good example of my totally horrible memory and why I need to document everything)

K-Dogg takes one for the team and finishes Laura`s
Seaweed Shake.Also, K-Dogg takes one for the team
and grows a mustache.

 Belize is pretty unreal. In fact, if you took a bunch of 7 year olds and said, ``Here`s some money. You and your friends go make a country,`` they would probably end up with something closely resembling Belize. The streets are named adorable little things like ``Hummingbird Highway`` or ``Old Wife Street``. The food is usually some combination of coconuts, fruit, seaweed, and chicken. And people talk with these preshus-weshus little accents. Example: ``Hah Fah Yah Gwin?`` (say it!) is ``How far are you going?``

Belize`s Wikipedia page is about
as ironic as they come

English?! And how that so? Well, Belize was part of the British Empire for like, forever. Even now, they are technically ``Independent`` but they still have Queen Elizabeth the Second on their money. But all this Anglophilism isn`t winning them over with their neighbors. Guatemala still, at least officially, believes Belize is a stolen part of Guatemala, and none of the other Central American countries seem to like it all that much, either.

Sunset.

All of this means, of course, that white tourists love Belize! It`s clean, comfortable, and without all that sadness-inducing poverty. Your white-gloved waiter will gladly bring you another piña colada with a warm smile, unlike that shady guy in Guatemala who lifted your wallet, or the Maya lady who totally scowled when you took her picture/soul.

 Speaking of obnoxious, money-wasting, totally-lovin`-it tourists, we totally were them. We sat on the beach, all day. We were barefoot the whole time. We drank seaweed shakes, and 2/3 of us liked them. We watched the sun set. Then the moon rise. We snorkled. We read. We made up a sport called Aquatic Coconut Ball and had a blast. He had Traveler`s Sickness, which is a classy name for The Runs. But is there any better place to have it?

Moonrise.

Adventures With K-Dogg

K-Dogg, freshly into Guatemala
(and probably scared out of his mind)

Well, it has been a while since our last post- I assure you, we have been busy. So busy, in fact, that I think it is ``blog-worthy`` to tell you all about it...

We had a lovely visitor, our good friend K-Dogg. K-Dogg lives in Los Angeles (which is way more glamorous than me admitting he grew up on the west side of Beloit, Wisconsin), and decided to take twelve days to hang out with us in Guatemala and Belize and then Guatemala again. Here`s some of the many highlights:

1. We stayed in a cabana hotel on the Rio Dulce (which means ``Sweet River,`` which only makes sense if by ``sweet`` you mean the Sweet Crude puring out of the motorboats). We may or may not have played Settlers of Catan: Travel Edition. 

We couldn`t actually bring our
cameras kayaking with us (the
whole rain thing), so this is going to
have to do.

2. We kayaked through the rainforest to our next town. In true rainforest fashion, it was raining. A lot. At the conclusion of our two-hour trip, we realized that had it not been raining, it wouldn´t have been nearly as memorable or utterly fantastic.

Drinks of, and in, coconut. Never gets old.

  3. We stayed for a couple days in Livingston, Guatemala, which is right on the Caribbean coast. It`s unique in that the community is almost entirely Garifuna folks- former Caribbean slaves who either lived, moved to, or escaped to the town. Needless to say, the music and vibe was lively and fun.

Eating the local Garifuna stew called ``Tapado.``
A mixture of tons of sea life
and coconut milk. Little did I know,
 but at the bottom of my bowl
would be a whole, gigantic (and I`m pretty sure still alive) fish.

The waters of the Caribean. Unfortunately,
the color is from a freak accident at the
PowerAde Factory downstream.

4. Then we bummed for a few days in Belize, right on the Caribbean Sea. More coconuts. One day, we went snorkling, which was probably quite amazing, but I was way too scared to enjoy/remember any of it.

Finally, I`m not the tallest object in the room.

5. We ended the trip in the ancient Mayan metropolis of Tikal. Totally excellent. I could`ve stayed there a week. Tikal is special because not only is it huge and full of huge things, it is also in the thick of the jungle, so you`ll walk for 10 minutes down a path full of monkeys, wild pigs, and these weird rodent things with long snouts and monkey tails, and suddenly you`ll literally stumble across a giant pyramid.

Beautiful Places We Get To Go, SImply Because We Are Filthy Rich Teachers With No Kids

So we have been killing some time lately waiting for a visit from our dear friend K-Dogg. Luckily for us, we have spent this time looking at really beautiful stuff. Here`s a little sample of our last week, which was decidedly more exciting than yours:

This absolutely enormous tree, just outside
of Semuc Champey, was the lightlight of the day.

Semuc Champey, from above. The turquoise pools
of water are on this sort of natural bridge over a river

More at Semuc Champey. While technically not a beautiful place, certainly at least one of us has a beautiful face.

I`m not sure you really understand how gigantic this tree is.

The Lanquin Caves, a totally awesome giant cave system that the
ancient Mayans believed lead into hell...which would be quaint and
charming, except cavers have never actually found where it ends (they`ve gone like 30 miles in, however)

Our hotel in the Eastern Guatemalan bayou. $13 a night, not including piña coladas.

Sunrise boat ride, courtesy of some guy in El Estor, into a huge wildlife santuary.



Water, buffalo. Water Buffalo?



Now do you understand?

This was a HOT waterfall, coming deep within the earth,
and creating a lovely hidden swimming hole.



This castle on the Rio Dulce was built by the Spaniards to stop
pirates from seizing the things the Spanish stole fair and square from the Mayas.


That is it for now. Miss and love y`all.

On Religion: A Battle Royale

Today I shall talk about something that I find really interesting: religion in Guatemala. At the current time, there seems to be a not-so-silent battle being waged between the main religions, Catholicism and Evangelicalisism (how do you say it?) It`s clear that everyone has got some strong opinions about the impending Battle of the Religions, even if it`s rude to have opinions in Guatemala.

I`ll take your religion as long as I can have my candles.

The major players are the Catholics versus the Evangelicals. I`ll start with the Catholics. Yes, they got a bad rap when they first arrived (which is what tends to happen when you kill a bunch of people in the name of the Lord.). However, within a few hundred years, it seems that the Catholics have learned to be a little more lenient towards the Guatemalans. Catholic churches are built with some Mayan symbolism, their services are often done in the local Mayan languages, and some ``Catholic Saints`` are really just Mayan Deities with more European-looking noses. Perhaps most importantly, the Catholic church in the 1960`s and 70`s was at the heart of the resistance against the government. It turns out that some priests felt that ``What Would Jesus Do?`` meant Jesus would fight back and kick ass when an evil government was killing innocent people. Not  a bad idea, eh? (It should be noted that this concept, called ``Liberation Theology`` was pretty much scorned by the Catholic Church in Europe) Needless to say, many Mayans grew fond of Catholicism during this time.



An Evangelical Church.

 Along come the Evangelicals. As everyone knows, Evangelical means ``using bad pop music and scare tactics to convert teenagers to your cult.`` And it is catching on like wildfire here in Guatemala. Hundreds of Guatemalans are converting every day, probably because the matriarchs of the family are totally into the Evangelical Church`s message of ``no alcohol and no cheating on your wife. This means you, Juan.`` Aside from their love of sobriety and monogamy, the Evangelicals also want to rid the Mayans here of any trace of Mayan-ness. No more candles or Mayan symbolism or names with lots of apostrophes. In fact, you could walk into an Evangelical church here and think you were in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, except without any white people (except for the five missionaries, fresh off a plane from Oshkosh, Wisconsin).

Right now, supposedly Guatemala is about 40% Catholic, 40% Evangelical, and the rest a mix of Mormonism, Strictly Mayan, and some others. We`ll see how it pans out. It has been really interesting to hear the few times when Guatemalans have been candid with me about this topic. The Catholics think the Evangelicals are destoying Mayan culture in the name of less fun. The Evangelicals think the Catholics are drunks who are going to miss out on the Rapture. 

FIGHT!

DSC04202 (1 photo), by laura klein

I'd like to share my Snapfish photos with you. Once you have checked out my photos you can order prints and upload your own photos to share.
Click here to view photos

Honduras Bound, Antigua Gagged



Well, it seems that Laura & I will be staying in Central America for a while now- I got a teaching job in Honduras. Now Laura gets to fulfill her dream of speaking Spanish for years on end, and I get to fulfill my dream of hiding away from the Tea Party.



Antigua



So because of a combination of lowered expectations (``Antigua is totally overrated`` is the most common phrase uttered by gringos here) low money (``We should really stop having such an enjoyable time`` is the most common phrase uttered by me here) and low time (``I can`t wait until we get to the coast`` is the most common phrase uttered by Laura here), we made the tragic mistake of skipping Antigua. Well, we didn`t quite skip it- we spent a one-hour layover there, which is just enough time to see the beautiful ancient churches and quaint streets mocking you as you head back to your shuttle. We also felt a little homesick. Antigua looks remarkably like New Orleans in parts (must be the Spanish architecture) and its courtyards were begging us to stay. Alas, maybe next time.

This Antigua church has been closed longer than the USA is old.

This actually isn`t Guatemala, its the Alps.
But I had you fooled.

Now we are in Cobàn, a town in the central Guatemalan Highlands which is surrounded by some amazing natural wonders. Antigua who?

Dia de los Difuntos and Other Tales

Whoa. That is all I can say to describe the weekend we just had, which involved trekking for about 5 hours each way on various microbuses and chicken buses to a town called Todos Santos, where we joined in the celebration of Dia de Todos Santos (All Saints Day) and Dia de los Difuntos (Day of the Dead). We went because 1. The event is so important that Lonely Planet put a picture of the festival on the front of their guidebook, and 2. We were celebrating our first week not in Spanish school. We made the trek with Molly, and Erin and Shannon (friends we´d met through Spanish school), and I don´t know if anyone was quite ready for the range of emotions that would be experienced. In addition, the journey there had apparently worn us all out:

Todos Santos is a dry town, but on All Saints Day, everyone is drinking. Excessively. In addition, the main attraction of the festival is the horse races in which the men of the town (and apparently some gringo women... but not indigenous women...) ride the horses back and forth down a dirt road from 8am to 5pm. So here we have crowds of men in traditional dress, completely inebriated, riding horses while surrounded by a massive crowd of locals and tourists. Everything about these races is interesting and exciting, until you walk down the street and see this:

Men are scattered all around the town, having overdone it to the point of nearly killing themselves from alcohol poisoning. The result is quite heartbreaking, and many men end up in the local jail (which, by the way, is a building with bars facing to the outside where the prisoners can stick their hands out, and anyone walking by can see who is in the jail). The idea seems to be that everyone in the village can drink away their sorrows (no job opportunities, extreme poverty, discrimination, etc) for one or two days during the festival each year. Talk about a... celebration?

But, enough about the hard parts of this celebration. Let´s talk about the good things. The traditional dress is totally beautiful, there are folks playing the marimba all day long, there are ferris wheel rides, ¨fair food¨ (fried chicken, licuados, french fries, lots of Guatemalan breads, samosas, etc), and gorgeous textiles. Also, we had the chance to witness a traditional Mayan ceremony (or blessing?) that happens on the morning of All Saints Day every year, in which two women prayed for all the horse race participants and gave offerings to God:

To sum up, the weekend had its ups and downs, but was definitely worth the trip. Another highlight from the past couple of weeks is as follows:

-We attended a celebration for the new water system (they now have water in many of the homes) in a town called Santa Anita (an ex-guerilla community). About 15 minutes into the presentation, someone decided that they should have a Catholic mass, unplanned, and most of the people picked up their chairs and brought them to the church to have mass. However, not everyone in the town is Catholic, and during the mass one man tied a sign to the side of the Catholic church promoting the Evangelical church. After the mass was over (one hour later), every brought their chairs back to the water celebration presentation, as if nothing had happened, and the presentation continued.

Later in the presentation, as three girls were dancing in their traditional dress, it started to rain and all the spectators picked up their chairs and left. But the girls continued dancing.

During the celebratory meal, in which we ate the cow that we had seen hanging over the basketball court earlier in the day, we were served cups of vodka. What a celebration!