A nice, quiet walk in the park in Mexico City

 Hey there. It's been a while since we wrapped at 'cha. This is because we have been hanging out in the 3rd-most populated city on the planet, and there is no room to move, much less type. In fact, to sit down and write this, I had to climb to the top of a flag pole.

To be honest, I have been nothing but impressed by Mexico City. Sure, the traffic & smog are miserable, but there is hardly a speck of trash, the people are nice, and there are tons of awesome museums & cathedrals to while away the hours. As far as megalopolises go (and I would know- I've been to two in the last 6 months), I'd say Mexico City is hardly the post-apocalyptic ruin I always imagined it to be.

The country as a whole was like night and day from Guatemala. Much like when Laura and I crossed the border from Poland into Germany, it was clear right away that these two countries are completely different:

Aside from our wonderful host family, and a visit from our biological family Mary Ellen, I really enjoy all the museums and historical stuff there is to see. Mexico City used to be the Aztec (or "Mexica") city of Tenochtitlan which is difficult to say not only because of the pronunciation, but also because you have to say "tit." The Aztecs were quite the engineers, making aqueducts and awesome floating gardens (If any of my former students are reading this, Tenochtitlan was the city we studied and made out of clay.) And like all great cities (Rome, Sumer, and Detroit) Tenochtitlan eventually fell to fate and was taken over by Cortes and the Spaniards.

       Perhaps the highlight was the Villa of Guadalupe, which is dedicated to Our Lady of Guadalupe, more commonly known as "That One Giant Sticker On The Back Of Everyone's Car." According to tradition, this is the place where a local indigenous peasant met Mary (The Mary) on a hill, who kindly instructed him to build a church at that spot. Nobody believed the peasant, and certainly no one wanted to spend hard-earned taxpayer dollars on building a church there just 'cuz some socialist liberal says so.

       So the peasant goes back to the mountain, ready to break the news to Mary. But Mary, who as we know has had to convince people of some pretty miraculous things before, comes up with a great idea. She picks him some fresh flowers (though this is the dead of winter), and when the peasant returns, not only does he impress all the non-believers with the floral arrangement, but his cloak also mysteriously has a painting of the whole interaction (the painting is now on display in one of the buildings). Needless to say, after this whole story spread around town, the Mexicans started to convert to Christianity like it was going out of style. And the plaza is now one of the most visited religious sites in the world (and the #1 for Catholicism).
      Of course, historians tend to love to ruin these things, and this is no exception. The Mary of Guadalupe story, they say, is based off an ancient tale of an Aztec goddess named Tonantzin. Others disagree and say it's the other way around. In any case, the Plaza was packed. So much, in fact, that the buildings are sinking into the ground- no joke.

This picture isn't that great, but you can sorta see one of the cathedrals to the right of Laura leaning over.

More Belize

Upon uploading the photos on my camera, I realized I had way more Belize stuff to talk about (Laura sometimes hassles me about how many photos I take, but I think this is a good example of my totally horrible memory and why I need to document everything)

K-Dogg takes one for the team and finishes Laura`s
Seaweed Shake.Also, K-Dogg takes one for the team
and grows a mustache.

 Belize is pretty unreal. In fact, if you took a bunch of 7 year olds and said, ``Here`s some money. You and your friends go make a country,`` they would probably end up with something closely resembling Belize. The streets are named adorable little things like ``Hummingbird Highway`` or ``Old Wife Street``. The food is usually some combination of coconuts, fruit, seaweed, and chicken. And people talk with these preshus-weshus little accents. Example: ``Hah Fah Yah Gwin?`` (say it!) is ``How far are you going?``

Belize`s Wikipedia page is about
as ironic as they come

English?! And how that so? Well, Belize was part of the British Empire for like, forever. Even now, they are technically ``Independent`` but they still have Queen Elizabeth the Second on their money. But all this Anglophilism isn`t winning them over with their neighbors. Guatemala still, at least officially, believes Belize is a stolen part of Guatemala, and none of the other Central American countries seem to like it all that much, either.

Sunset.

All of this means, of course, that white tourists love Belize! It`s clean, comfortable, and without all that sadness-inducing poverty. Your white-gloved waiter will gladly bring you another piña colada with a warm smile, unlike that shady guy in Guatemala who lifted your wallet, or the Maya lady who totally scowled when you took her picture/soul.

 Speaking of obnoxious, money-wasting, totally-lovin`-it tourists, we totally were them. We sat on the beach, all day. We were barefoot the whole time. We drank seaweed shakes, and 2/3 of us liked them. We watched the sun set. Then the moon rise. We snorkled. We read. We made up a sport called Aquatic Coconut Ball and had a blast. He had Traveler`s Sickness, which is a classy name for The Runs. But is there any better place to have it?

Moonrise.

Adventures With K-Dogg

K-Dogg, freshly into Guatemala
(and probably scared out of his mind)

Well, it has been a while since our last post- I assure you, we have been busy. So busy, in fact, that I think it is ``blog-worthy`` to tell you all about it...

We had a lovely visitor, our good friend K-Dogg. K-Dogg lives in Los Angeles (which is way more glamorous than me admitting he grew up on the west side of Beloit, Wisconsin), and decided to take twelve days to hang out with us in Guatemala and Belize and then Guatemala again. Here`s some of the many highlights:

1. We stayed in a cabana hotel on the Rio Dulce (which means ``Sweet River,`` which only makes sense if by ``sweet`` you mean the Sweet Crude puring out of the motorboats). We may or may not have played Settlers of Catan: Travel Edition. 

We couldn`t actually bring our
cameras kayaking with us (the
whole rain thing), so this is going to
have to do.

2. We kayaked through the rainforest to our next town. In true rainforest fashion, it was raining. A lot. At the conclusion of our two-hour trip, we realized that had it not been raining, it wouldn´t have been nearly as memorable or utterly fantastic.

Drinks of, and in, coconut. Never gets old.

  3. We stayed for a couple days in Livingston, Guatemala, which is right on the Caribbean coast. It`s unique in that the community is almost entirely Garifuna folks- former Caribbean slaves who either lived, moved to, or escaped to the town. Needless to say, the music and vibe was lively and fun.

Eating the local Garifuna stew called ``Tapado.``
A mixture of tons of sea life
and coconut milk. Little did I know,
 but at the bottom of my bowl
would be a whole, gigantic (and I`m pretty sure still alive) fish.

The waters of the Caribean. Unfortunately,
the color is from a freak accident at the
PowerAde Factory downstream.

4. Then we bummed for a few days in Belize, right on the Caribbean Sea. More coconuts. One day, we went snorkling, which was probably quite amazing, but I was way too scared to enjoy/remember any of it.

Finally, I`m not the tallest object in the room.

5. We ended the trip in the ancient Mayan metropolis of Tikal. Totally excellent. I could`ve stayed there a week. Tikal is special because not only is it huge and full of huge things, it is also in the thick of the jungle, so you`ll walk for 10 minutes down a path full of monkeys, wild pigs, and these weird rodent things with long snouts and monkey tails, and suddenly you`ll literally stumble across a giant pyramid.

Beautiful Places We Get To Go, SImply Because We Are Filthy Rich Teachers With No Kids

So we have been killing some time lately waiting for a visit from our dear friend K-Dogg. Luckily for us, we have spent this time looking at really beautiful stuff. Here`s a little sample of our last week, which was decidedly more exciting than yours:

This absolutely enormous tree, just outside
of Semuc Champey, was the lightlight of the day.

Semuc Champey, from above. The turquoise pools
of water are on this sort of natural bridge over a river

More at Semuc Champey. While technically not a beautiful place, certainly at least one of us has a beautiful face.

I`m not sure you really understand how gigantic this tree is.

The Lanquin Caves, a totally awesome giant cave system that the
ancient Mayans believed lead into hell...which would be quaint and
charming, except cavers have never actually found where it ends (they`ve gone like 30 miles in, however)

Our hotel in the Eastern Guatemalan bayou. $13 a night, not including piña coladas.

Sunrise boat ride, courtesy of some guy in El Estor, into a huge wildlife santuary.



Water, buffalo. Water Buffalo?



Now do you understand?

This was a HOT waterfall, coming deep within the earth,
and creating a lovely hidden swimming hole.



This castle on the Rio Dulce was built by the Spaniards to stop
pirates from seizing the things the Spanish stole fair and square from the Mayas.


That is it for now. Miss and love y`all.

On Religion: A Battle Royale

Today I shall talk about something that I find really interesting: religion in Guatemala. At the current time, there seems to be a not-so-silent battle being waged between the main religions, Catholicism and Evangelicalisism (how do you say it?) It`s clear that everyone has got some strong opinions about the impending Battle of the Religions, even if it`s rude to have opinions in Guatemala.

I`ll take your religion as long as I can have my candles.

The major players are the Catholics versus the Evangelicals. I`ll start with the Catholics. Yes, they got a bad rap when they first arrived (which is what tends to happen when you kill a bunch of people in the name of the Lord.). However, within a few hundred years, it seems that the Catholics have learned to be a little more lenient towards the Guatemalans. Catholic churches are built with some Mayan symbolism, their services are often done in the local Mayan languages, and some ``Catholic Saints`` are really just Mayan Deities with more European-looking noses. Perhaps most importantly, the Catholic church in the 1960`s and 70`s was at the heart of the resistance against the government. It turns out that some priests felt that ``What Would Jesus Do?`` meant Jesus would fight back and kick ass when an evil government was killing innocent people. Not  a bad idea, eh? (It should be noted that this concept, called ``Liberation Theology`` was pretty much scorned by the Catholic Church in Europe) Needless to say, many Mayans grew fond of Catholicism during this time.



An Evangelical Church.

 Along come the Evangelicals. As everyone knows, Evangelical means ``using bad pop music and scare tactics to convert teenagers to your cult.`` And it is catching on like wildfire here in Guatemala. Hundreds of Guatemalans are converting every day, probably because the matriarchs of the family are totally into the Evangelical Church`s message of ``no alcohol and no cheating on your wife. This means you, Juan.`` Aside from their love of sobriety and monogamy, the Evangelicals also want to rid the Mayans here of any trace of Mayan-ness. No more candles or Mayan symbolism or names with lots of apostrophes. In fact, you could walk into an Evangelical church here and think you were in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, except without any white people (except for the five missionaries, fresh off a plane from Oshkosh, Wisconsin).

Right now, supposedly Guatemala is about 40% Catholic, 40% Evangelical, and the rest a mix of Mormonism, Strictly Mayan, and some others. We`ll see how it pans out. It has been really interesting to hear the few times when Guatemalans have been candid with me about this topic. The Catholics think the Evangelicals are destoying Mayan culture in the name of less fun. The Evangelicals think the Catholics are drunks who are going to miss out on the Rapture. 

FIGHT!

DSC04202 (1 photo), by laura klein

I'd like to share my Snapfish photos with you. Once you have checked out my photos you can order prints and upload your own photos to share.
Click here to view photos

Honduras Bound, Antigua Gagged



Well, it seems that Laura & I will be staying in Central America for a while now- I got a teaching job in Honduras. Now Laura gets to fulfill her dream of speaking Spanish for years on end, and I get to fulfill my dream of hiding away from the Tea Party.



Antigua



So because of a combination of lowered expectations (``Antigua is totally overrated`` is the most common phrase uttered by gringos here) low money (``We should really stop having such an enjoyable time`` is the most common phrase uttered by me here) and low time (``I can`t wait until we get to the coast`` is the most common phrase uttered by Laura here), we made the tragic mistake of skipping Antigua. Well, we didn`t quite skip it- we spent a one-hour layover there, which is just enough time to see the beautiful ancient churches and quaint streets mocking you as you head back to your shuttle. We also felt a little homesick. Antigua looks remarkably like New Orleans in parts (must be the Spanish architecture) and its courtyards were begging us to stay. Alas, maybe next time.

This Antigua church has been closed longer than the USA is old.

This actually isn`t Guatemala, its the Alps.
But I had you fooled.

Now we are in Cobàn, a town in the central Guatemalan Highlands which is surrounded by some amazing natural wonders. Antigua who?

Dia de los Difuntos and Other Tales

Whoa. That is all I can say to describe the weekend we just had, which involved trekking for about 5 hours each way on various microbuses and chicken buses to a town called Todos Santos, where we joined in the celebration of Dia de Todos Santos (All Saints Day) and Dia de los Difuntos (Day of the Dead). We went because 1. The event is so important that Lonely Planet put a picture of the festival on the front of their guidebook, and 2. We were celebrating our first week not in Spanish school. We made the trek with Molly, and Erin and Shannon (friends we´d met through Spanish school), and I don´t know if anyone was quite ready for the range of emotions that would be experienced. In addition, the journey there had apparently worn us all out:

Todos Santos is a dry town, but on All Saints Day, everyone is drinking. Excessively. In addition, the main attraction of the festival is the horse races in which the men of the town (and apparently some gringo women... but not indigenous women...) ride the horses back and forth down a dirt road from 8am to 5pm. So here we have crowds of men in traditional dress, completely inebriated, riding horses while surrounded by a massive crowd of locals and tourists. Everything about these races is interesting and exciting, until you walk down the street and see this:

Men are scattered all around the town, having overdone it to the point of nearly killing themselves from alcohol poisoning. The result is quite heartbreaking, and many men end up in the local jail (which, by the way, is a building with bars facing to the outside where the prisoners can stick their hands out, and anyone walking by can see who is in the jail). The idea seems to be that everyone in the village can drink away their sorrows (no job opportunities, extreme poverty, discrimination, etc) for one or two days during the festival each year. Talk about a... celebration?

But, enough about the hard parts of this celebration. Let´s talk about the good things. The traditional dress is totally beautiful, there are folks playing the marimba all day long, there are ferris wheel rides, ¨fair food¨ (fried chicken, licuados, french fries, lots of Guatemalan breads, samosas, etc), and gorgeous textiles. Also, we had the chance to witness a traditional Mayan ceremony (or blessing?) that happens on the morning of All Saints Day every year, in which two women prayed for all the horse race participants and gave offerings to God:

To sum up, the weekend had its ups and downs, but was definitely worth the trip. Another highlight from the past couple of weeks is as follows:

-We attended a celebration for the new water system (they now have water in many of the homes) in a town called Santa Anita (an ex-guerilla community). About 15 minutes into the presentation, someone decided that they should have a Catholic mass, unplanned, and most of the people picked up their chairs and brought them to the church to have mass. However, not everyone in the town is Catholic, and during the mass one man tied a sign to the side of the Catholic church promoting the Evangelical church. After the mass was over (one hour later), every brought their chairs back to the water celebration presentation, as if nothing had happened, and the presentation continued.

Later in the presentation, as three girls were dancing in their traditional dress, it started to rain and all the spectators picked up their chairs and left. But the girls continued dancing.

During the celebratory meal, in which we ate the cow that we had seen hanging over the basketball court earlier in the day, we were served cups of vodka. What a celebration!

Simple Update

Hey all,

This is going to be short and sweet, because there is just way too much fun to be had outside of the internet. We just left our Spanish school, and we are about to begin traveling. We´ll start out our adventure by going to a town called Todos Santos for All Saints Day with our friend Molly (who is doing peace corps in Guatemala). We´re pumped! More updates when we have less things to attend to. If you want to get a hold of us, email is the only way!

Hasta luego!

Tortillas, Beans, and Tortillas.

Today is Tuesday, which means only one thing: TACO TUESDAY. (Unfortunately, this deal applies only if you´re in the US) However, it got me thinking about food. Here´s the rundown of some tasty (and other not-so-tasty) Guatemalan dishes:

Black Beans are delicious and/or nutritious. Unfortunately, the above portion is used to feed approximately 18 Guatemalans.

This interesting little guy is a wild plant called Pacaya. It looks like an alien, and tastes like one, too. I´m starting to totally dig it.

A stack of hot, fresh, totally delicous torillas. Free with every purchase of one (1) Guatemalan woman. Some restrictions apply.

Coffee is delicious, and (unfortunately for the Guatemalan economy) dirt cheap. Even my 3-year old host brother drinks it.

Chicken (or meat, for that matter) is usually only eaten on special occasions. Nothing says, ¨I´m a kick-butt lady´´ than snapping your pet chicken´s neck with your bare hands and serving it up in a bowl. Includes a few flavor-enhancing feathers in every dish.

No Joke: When we were in Xela (´´Guatemala´s Second-Most Important City´´), the McDonalds was absolutely packed with people. At 10 P.M.

Pinapples have become a staple in our diet. I even know the ancient Mayan secret for how to tell if your piña is good or not. But I´m not telling.

Guatemalan potato chips are awesome. Probably because of the MSG.

TEMBLORES!!

       So the other night, we were awoken with a shaking house. In my sleepy haziness, I thought a giant truck was passing by (or through) the building. However, Laura is much smarter than I, and she calmly pointed out that it was an earthquake.
      We quickly learned that it wasn`t an earthquake but a ``TEMBLOR`` which loosely translates into ``when the mountain shakes and only the foreigners get freaked out .`` Over the next 24 hours, there were two more temblores, and each was scarier than the first (except the third, which I somehow slept through).
      In any case, we are all alive, the mountain apparently just has some bad gas, but feels much better now.

Although this didn`t hapen, it darn well could have...

Updates from a village in the middle of nowhere.

Hi everyone. This is basically plagiarized from an email to my parents, but I was too lazy to write something new.

We are at the new school, in the mountains. (coincidentally, it is about the same elevation as the last one on the lake). Anyway, it is in a tiny little town. I don´t even think its a town, but a community. The town was set up when a bunch of ex-coffee farmers (they joined a union and were subsequently fired and blacklisted) started a new community. Needless to say it is dirt poor. Every day at 5:30, trucks come through town honking their horns and the men get in to take trips to the cities to hopefully get day labor. They return every evening around 7, with 40 Quetzales (about $5), if they are lucky. Most weeks, I guess the men can expect to actually find work 3 or 4 days. Coffee farming, as it turns out, isn´t much better. If a family picks 100 pounds of coffee beans, they get a whopping 3 bucks or so from the coffee dealers. Such is life.

Every meal, I go to eat at a local family´s home. The grandma is the only one I really ever see- grampa and the dads are off before I get there for breakfast and come home after I´ve already had dinner. The woman is nice, but doesn´t say much. They have a dirt floor and there are constantly chickens running around. I usually eat rice and beans and tortillas, and everything is suprisingly palatable. Laura´s family is more lively, and the kids totally adore her. In fact, the whole town is kind of fascinated with the gringos. There are absolutely no tourists for miles and miles, so we are the only outsiders to come to an area where everyone knows everyone. Today, my breakfast was a little more exciting because while we were eating, one of my family´s dogs got hit by a car. Don´t worry, he is OK. In fact, he is in better shape than their other dog, who has one ear.

We have classes for 4 hours a day, and all 8 or so students live in the school (not coincidentally, 3 of them went to UW-Madison). There really isn´t much to do except read and do homework and talk, and it is totally lovely. Right now, Laura, another student, and I just took a 20 minute ride in the back of a pick-up truck (in spanish ``picup``) to the nearby metropolis of Colomba (population, of, say, 1,000), which is the nearest town with computers. We came yesterday, but the town was out of electricity, so we didn´t get to use the internet.

It all sounds much more rustic than it is. We are having a lovely time. Tomorrow I have a phone interview with a school in Honduras.

Find-A-Gringo

One interesting thing in the touristy areas of Guatemala isthe fact that there is a strong presence of Gringos (which coincidentally, isn´t actually a derogatory term, unless my teacher is totally rude and playing a funny trick on me). There is a street in San Pedro known as ´´Gringo Alley´´ where most of them congregate. Not coincidentally, it is also the only place in town where you will see the follow items: Sunglasses, Tampons, Bread, Women Drinking Alcohol (ok, not technically an ´´item´´), and dreadlocks. However, the question still remains. How can you differentiate between a Gringo and a local, Tz´utu´jil -speaking Mayan?  The answer is easier than you think: